


guide to getting laid, probably, by moca-chan (highly dubious)

by oceanterminal



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, also ft dense yukina, because i just love that, don't let moca anywhere near your love life, this is a terrible idea and lisa learns this the hard way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 03:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14761919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanterminal/pseuds/oceanterminal
Summary: moca gives her good pal lisa some unwarranted, undesired and frankly downright terrible love advice“You sound so sure of yourself, but you don’t know her like I do,” Lisa says, waving with her wrist, “it’s not like that.”“You may think that, but I am a lot less single than you are.” Moca says, still smug. Lisa deflates. She can’t…really argue with that kind of logic.“Okay, maybe it’s a little suspicious,” Lisa concedes, huffing, “but what am I meant to do about it?”“Just leave it to me~” Moca says, tilting her head, “Moca-chan will get you laid.”





	guide to getting laid, probably, by moca-chan (highly dubious)

**Author's Note:**

> it's 7:47am and i have seen god

It’s kind of nice when the after-school rush ends and work becomes quiet for just a little bit. There’s something peaceful about spacing out to the sound of convenience store music and Moca’s vague humming.

“Who would win in a fight?” Moca muses, drawling her voice out in monotone. “Hina-senpai or Sayo-san?”

Nothing like good conversation, either.

“Hina, definitely,” Lisa says, clicking at things on the monitor absentmindedly. Sales are above target today. That’s pretty good. “Sayo would do her best but Hina is way more athletic.”

“Yeah, I guess there’s no contest there,” Moca says, leaning on the benchtop. “You’re kind of mean to your bandmates though, Lisa-san~”

“Mean?” Lisa laughs, “No, Sayo is just…it’s Sayo.”

“I mean, physically Hina-senpai would win, but could she bring herself to do it? I dunno,” Moca nods, staring off into the distance, “Ah. There she is again.”

The doors to the convenience spring open, and it’s none other than Yukina who steps through, looking around. She’s changed into her casual clothes since school ended; it’s probably way too hot for a blouse like that, but Yukina has an aesthetic to maintain, as she likes to never mention. (It’s definitely  _ way _ too hot, haha…)

“Yuukinaaa!” Lisa leans over the counter, waving, “What’s up? Do you need anything?”

Yukina looks up, as if she weren’t expecting Lisa to be there (which is silly, she  _ knows _ Lisa always takes the Thursday afternoon-evening shift), and blinks.

“Ah, Lisa,” she says, voice soft, “I’m just looking for a new pen. Mine ran out at school today.”

Lisa points to the right of the store, where the stationery lies hidden behind a rack of potato chips. It’s kind of silly, having them concealed all the way back there, but that was what part-timers were for, after all. 

“Stationery is on the right,” Lisa says, gesturing with a jerk of her head as well, “we keep it hidden behind the potato chips for, uh, reason.”

Yukina raises an eyebrow, but meanders over to the stationery section. She seems to take her time musing over exactly which one, picking up ten different kinds and examining them. Moca, on the other hand, is staring at Lisa, smugness written across her face.

“What?”

“Just enjoying the show~” Moca says, folding her arms. 

“The show? Are we that entertaining?” Lisa rolls her eyes, but Moca nods. Yukina walks up to the counter, a single pen in hand.

“Ah – we have a special, three pens for the price of two, if you’re looking to stock up!” Lisa says, nodding towards the signs at the edge of the store, but Yukina shakes her head.

“I just need one,” she says. Which is just like her, really – practical to a fault towards everything  _ except  _ her music (which was why she needed Lisa there, after all – someone had to keep things in check).

“That’ll be 120yen,” Lisa says, ringing her up, “Hey, is that new perfume? It smells great!”

Yukina nods, passing over some coins.

“See you later, Lisa,” she says, waving behind her as she exits the store. Something something, hate to see her leave, but love to watch her go. Lisa rests her chin in her palms, leaning on the counter.

“That’s the third time she’s visited you this week.” Moca says, still smug.

Lisa raises an eyebrow, “Yeah, she has been here a lot. Not like I’m complaining.”

“Each time she’s come, she’s bought something pointless~”

“I mean, a pen isn’t exactly pointless…we do need those for school.”

“If she really needed pens, she would have taken the special.”

Lisa knows what’s she’s getting at, but – but no way.

“It doesn’t mean anything, Moca,” Lisa says, frowning, “she’s just needed a bunch of stuff this week.”

“Funny how she only comes in on your shift~” Moca raises an eyebrow. “She’s coming for you, duh. It’s super obvious~”

“You sound so sure of yourself, but you don’t know her like I do,” Lisa says, waving with her wrist, “it’s not like that.”

“You may think that, but I am a lot less single than you are.” Moca says, still smug. Lisa deflates. She can’t…really argue with that kind of logic.

“Okay, maybe it’s a little suspicious,” Lisa concedes, huffing, “but what am I meant to do about it?”

“Just leave it to me~” Moca says, tilting her head, “Moca-chan will get you laid.”

Lisa nearly chokes, but she’s cool. That’s fine. She’s not thinking about it.

(Haha but her stomach is so smooth, and soft, and –  _ stop stop stop _ .)

“Next time she comes in, Moca-chan will make magic happen,” she says, and Lisa’s stomach sinks into the ground. Oh god.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time they’re on shift together is Saturday morning, and unfortunately, Moca hasn’t forgotten about their little arrangement.

“Kokoro-chan or Misaki-chin?” Moca says, tilting her head. “I want to say Michelle, but she’s always so tired~”

“Yeah, Kokoro would run rings around her,” Lisa says, “but Kokoro has that bodyguard, doesn’t she? I feel like she wins by default.”

“Ah. Hold onto your pants, Lisa-chan,” Moca says, and Lisa raises an eyebrow, but – oh, oh god, it’s Yukina. She can feel sweat beading on her forehead.

“H-hey, Yuukinaa!” Lisa says, wincing at the waver in her voice. Moca grins. 

“Yo, Minato-san,” Moca says, leaning against the counter.  _ Oh god.  _ Lisa glances sideward at her, but Moca is perfectly poker-faced. Just what does she intend to do…?

“Good morning, Lisa, Aoba-san,” Yukina says, peering around the store.

“What do you need?”

“I was out on an errand, and I got thirsty,” Yukina says, walking over to the fridge, “…could you help me pick something out…?”

It’s unlike Yukina to buy drinks from stores – so naturally, she has no idea what’s good. Lisa feels a little relieved, skips past the counter to stand next to her, brushes a shoulder and Yukina doesn’t even notice (being best friends when you’re gay has benefits).

“I think you’d like – “

“Minato-san, you should try the red one~” Moca calls from the counter, grinning. The red one? That would be –  _ no. _

Yukina picks out the red can from the fridge, turning it over to read the label.

“Love-love juice…” Yukina mutters, raising an eyebrow. 

“Ahaha, no, ignore Moca,” Lisa says, waving her hands, “this is actually old stock, and we’re trying to get rid of it. How about…this one?”

Lisa picks out a green can – apple flavoured, sweet but not too sweet, just to her taste.

(And it doesn’t have love-love written across it, thank god.)

Lisa dares to look back at Moca, and regrets it. Moca wraps her arms around herself and makes  _ kissy faces _ . Lisa feels her face redden, blushing because  _ why Moca why  _ and prays to god Yukina will leave as soon as possible. Moca is dubious in general, but this really takes the cake – this was a mistake. She should have shut Yukina down as soon as possible.

Yukina heads to the counter, pressing the cold can against her neck. It really is hot out today.

“You know, you could always wear something a little less stuffy, Yukina,” Lisa says, following, “Those long sleeves look punishing.”

“Lisa-san would love it if you wore something a little more revealing,” Moca says, leaning on her elbows.

Yukina looks almost offended. “I like these clothes.”

“You just look hot…” Lisa says, and realises her mistake as Moca snickers.  _ Why. _

“That is a nice shirt, Minato-san,” Moca says, ringing her up as Lisa heads back behind the counter. “It’d look even better on Lisa’s floor.”

Lisa wonders how politely she has to ask for some heavenly figure to come and kill her right now. This is the end, this is –

Yukina looks confused for a moment, before knitting her brow. 

“I would never make a mess like that in Lisa’s room,” she says, taking the juice can with her and leaving the store.

_ I love you, Yukina.  _

“Oh, wow~” Moca says, staring out the door, “That was amazing.”

“I’m never asking for your help with my love life again,” Lisa says, looking pointedly at her, “I hope you know this.”

“That’s fair~” Moca says, rubbing her chin, “I wouldn’t ask me for help either.”

“How did you and Ran even get together?” Lisa dares to ask.

Moca shrugs.

“We just started making out one day. I think we were always dating, probably~”

Lisa wonders why she bothers, sometimes.

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
